Sunday, April 08, 2012

A Reflection

(A poem)

In relation to my previous post about reflections during the Holy Week, here's a poem about a reflection I had some years back on a relationship I couldn't decide whether to keep or let go. Here goes...

I was blessed with a love
that is sure to last forever
Security from a man
who would leave me never
And yet, I needed to go
and leave him all alone
Because I lost myself with him
and I needed to find again my own
He loves me too much
sure he really does
But he often fails to make me feel
that I tend to forget how it was
I love him very much
sure, I really do
But he can't be my everything
there are other things that I need, too.
It pains me to leave
and my heart bleeds for him
But this, I had to do
for him to do deep thinking
The past year had really been
very tough on me
The weight of responsibility
was more than I could carry
It was a time when I needed him
the most, beside me
But he was away
and instead, completed my misery
He cares, that I know
but lacks compassion
Which I needed badly
in such a turmoil of emotions
Still preoccupied with his own
fears, insecurities, and suspicions
With his strangling hands,
I was slowly dying of suffocation
And so, I decided to leave
and catch my breath
Before it would be too late
I escaped my death
Said he'd do everything I want
just to keep me from leaving
I said it would mean deviating
from everything he believes in
And he would not be himself
no, not like him at all
Besides, I don't want him
to experience my fall
And so now, all alone I lie
in a sad but sweet repose
But I will never ever
leave my door closed
For if he truly loves me
and wants me for his wife
He won't just sit and wait
for me to come back to his life.

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