Saturday, May 19, 2012

I Survived My Sister's Wedding...

It's that time of the year again for weddings. Summer Wedding, June Brides, etc...etc... I can't help but recall my sister's wedding and how I survived it. I wrote the post below sometime after the wedding and posted it on my Facebook Notes. I just thought I should also share it here :)

Date. 09 December 2009. 13 days before I turn 30. And as they say, my clock is ticking…

It was also my sister’s Church wedding day. I had to emphasize Church because she already had civil wedding a year ago. Anyway, it was her wedding day and it was just another day for me. Although I was the Maid of Honor, or in this case, the Elf Lady (as it was a fairy themed wedding), I didn’t help her that much in the preparation. I was too busy with work, school and outdoor activities to concern myself about dresses, flowers, giveaways and all whatnots of weddings. And mind you, I almost got fired as the maid of honor because I didn’t do my “duties”. My sister and I had a fight over it, but that’s another story. The main topic of this nonsense blabber is reuniting with relatives and the fact that my little baby sister got married ahead of me. SO WHAT???

Well, we all know that for most people, it’s a big deal when a woman reaches a certain age and is still single. Much bigger of a deal when the younger sister gets married ahead of the older one. With all honesty and sincerity, it’s not a big deal to me. Not because I have no serious relationship right now. Believe me, I’ve had lots of relationships with men. Of varying size and age, really! A few serious ones even. But it’s because I simply don’t want to get tied down yet! Why can’t you, people, get it??? Why does everybody think that getting married is the end/final goal of everybody? Well, here’s a newsflash—I’m NOT everybody!!!

Anyway, so here comes the wedding day. I went to the hotel room of my sister to get myself fixed. There goes the first questioner of the day—the make up artist. “Ikaw ma’am, kelan ka? (How about you, Ma'am? When's your wedding?)” Strike one! To which I just smiled and said, “Sorry, it’s not my thing.” And at the back of my mind, I was thinking, “Sorry, you’re not gonna get my business, if that’s what you’re hoping for. Hehe…” Good thing she was polite enough not to push it. Then came some relatives, cousins and titas (aunts). Asked the same question in varying sentence formats, but all the same.

In the church, I was all smiles walking down the aisle. Why all smiles? I was happy, of course! I was sending my sister to a good marriage. And I was happy because modesty aside, I look so beautiful in my Tinker Bell dress…I was happy to be strutting like a model down the aisle…and happy not to be the bride!

Then here comes the inevitable…. I felt like I’m Jane of 27 dresses being greeted by insensitive relatives. We haven’t seen each other in a very long time so it was really a reunion for all of us. One cousin greeted me, (I don’t know if she’s just at a lost for words or she just can’t get over the fact that I have always been more beautiful and charming than her) she said, “Oy! Ano ba yan, di ka na tumaba! (Hey, why you never gained weight?)” She said it like it’s the most unfortunate thing. I almost blurted out, “yeah, I know, right? ….and boy, am I so happy I didn’t get as fat as you are!”

But of course, I didn’t say that. I was still polite, smiled and said something like, “I did, just a little bit though.” For goodness sake, she looks like she had borne 9 babies already when she’s still single! 
Hey, I don’t want to be mean…but they’re always picking on me and my skinny body. I do want to gain a little more weight, but it’s really difficult for me. But I’m not really complaining because I can wear all the kinds of clothes I want and not look like an overcooked “suman” (rice cake) with excess oils and fats oozing on the sides or an overflowing muffin. No offense to “healthy” people, okay? I’m just irritated with these insensitive people who know no gambit other than body size. How….uncultured!

At the reception, I happen to be the “lucky one” who got the bride’s bouquet. So there go same questions & comments again from more cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, etc…. All of them saying, “Yan…you’re next!”; “Kelan ka sunod? (when are you gonna marry, too?)”; “Dapat next year, ikaw na! (Next year, it should be you!)”; “Naunahan ka pa ng sister mo! (Your sister beat you..[in getting married]” Goodness…I didn’t realize there was a race!

By this time, I was already rolling my eyes in my mind. But I don’t want to ruin my sister’s day by making a scene and I don’t want them to get the satisfaction, so time and again, I just grinned and bore it all throughout the day. Sometimes I would answer, “I can’t decide which of my men I’d choose to marry. There’s so many of them,” and just laugh it off. Or sometimes, I just acted as if I was disgusted by thought of getting tied down.

Truth be told, I am not. I don’t abhor the idea of having to live with, sleep with, and share things with, just “one” someone for the rest of my life. It would be nice to have someone to take care of me for a change. Someone to grow old with. But it’s not my goal in life. If it comes, then it comes. But it’s not like I’m going to focus all my time and energy in making a career out of it! D’uh!

I acknowledge the possibility that these people may not mean ill or harm in asking those questions. That it’s just normal…but it’s really irritating. The expectations. The need for an explanation. And having to explain over and over again… So once and for all, here it is…

Right now, I just want to enjoy my life. I spent most of my adult life taking care of my family, especially my sister. It has been all about them all these years. I never had the time, or the money, for myself until now. I don’t regret doing that, but I just think it’s about time for me to have the so-called “time of my life”. And boy, am I really enjoying it right now! So, let me be, okay? =)

And that’s how I survived my sister’s wedding…


Gayathri Lakshminarayanan said...

Oh Lady Olivine! You might have heard this old joke..

"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

I too get all done up with this attitude, esp when there are other priorities in life.. :) But I just bit my tongue, give the widest grin and direct them to my parents, who know enough to handle them..


Lady Olivine said...

Hahaha! That cracked me up, Elgee. It's the first time I heard the joke, really :)

Thanks for sharing :)