Saturday, June 02, 2012

It's been a while...and my heart is nearing an alarming state of discontent

It's been a while since my last entry and it really saddens me.

It saddens me not being able to do the things that I really love doing.  Summer is coming to an end...if it hasn't yet, that is.  It's been raining hard every afternoon lately. A sign that the rainy season is here already. And I'm as gloomy as the afternoon weather because I didn't get to enjoy the summer at all. Haven't had a summer adventure for the last couple of years. I miss the mountains, the ocean, or even just a simple swimming pool!

There's always no time, no budget, no nothing.  That's the truth of the matter here.

Even the simple things I love doing, like blogging, writing poems, and writing short stories...even these I can't seem to afford to do. I just don't have any time or energy left in me to do these things because I'm tied and tired with my day job. "Day Job", actually is an inaccurate term because it doesn't end with the day. My job continues at night, till the wee hours of the morning and then all day long. Yes, the home-based job allows me some free time after deadlines. But the free time is mostly consumed with household chores and sleeping and recharging to prepare body and mind for another grueling days and sleepless nights of work. 

I wouldn't mind if I love the job I'm doing. But the fact is, I don't. I don't even like it. But I wouldn't say I don't have a choice, because we always have a choice.  It's just that for now, I don't have a better choice.

So I guess, till then... Until I have a better choice, I'll have to tend to my heart every now and then  to keep it from reaching an alarming state of discontent.


Cybex said...

random blog walker comment :
Hi, just stumbled to your blog. first off, i like your poetry :) and 2nd why not just ask for a couple days off to do some of the stuff you want to do instead? I feel that you're like over-working yourself, your introduction says; "Never hate life. It is God's greatest gift" shouldnt a gift be more... fun? happy?

I guess, i dont know your situation. and probably i'm just curious.. but if you LOVE to write, u shouldnt abandon it too long. its also a God-given talent, and personally, i think it shouldnt go to waste :) + i really LOVE your poetry, haha

Lady Olivine said...

Hi, Cybex.

Truth be told, I was surprised to see a comment here. It's not everyday that I get a comment from a real person and not a spam bot :D

Well, thank you for your comment and advice. I'm glad that you "love" my poetry. It always feels nice when someone appreciates my writing.

Don't worry about me, I'm just passing a phase. I just had to say it, or write about it. Just letting out steam, but I will never let it get the best of me :)

Again, thank you and I do hope you visit my blog from time to time. Saw your blogs, too. Very interesting. I can feel your sensitive side :)

Cybex said...

hahas, i know, i dont get comments on my blog either. and you're welcome. :) I'll be following your blog. so as long as u write, i'll read ^^

Dani said...

Love love love your blog! :) I saw it on goodreads so I decided to see what you wrote.

Don't ever stop writing because you're really good at it. :) Even just writing for 10 minutes a day if you're too busy with work. :) It would be a shame to put your amazing writing talent to waste.

By the way, are you filipino? I'm filipino too! :)

Lady Olivine said...

@Cybex: Thank you. Really appreciate it. I followed one of your blogs as well - The Forbidden Gift. :)

Lady Olivine said...

Thank you, Dani. You are very kind.

I'm glad you love my blog. Although I must caution you that some of the posts here may be a bit mature for your age. So please exercise caution and self-regulation :D

Should you have any question about my posts, poems or even personal, or you need guidance, please feel free to shoot me an email and I'll do my best to answer it.

And oh, yes, I'm Filipino :)

Cybex said...

hahax yeahh The Forbidden Gift is my only current active blog.. I use to write short story blog too! but.. similarly to your case, have been too busy with collge.. :(

Can you guess whats the Forbidden Gift? :)

Lady Olivine said...

Hi, Cybex.

First, belated happy birthday! :) I posted a comment on your blog.

Forbidden gift... Yeah, I wondered about that when I saw your blog. I just forgot to ask what. I can see you have a gift on arts and such but I can't see how that is forbidden. Maybe your gift has some sort of dark twist like you can see things that you are not supposed to see? :D

Cybex said...

Thankius :)

and actually at the time i created my blog, i was in a slight depression state. So, the forbidden gift to me is; Love. ahahaha nothing amazing like seeing spirits or anything. though that would be sorta cool.
and we need a better way to chat! ahaha. Replied to ur comment on my blog too :)