It's been a while since my last entry and it really saddens me.
It saddens me not being able to do the things that I really love doing. Summer is coming to an end...if it hasn't yet, that is. It's been raining hard every afternoon lately. A sign that the rainy season is here already. And I'm as gloomy as the afternoon weather because I didn't get to enjoy the summer at all. Haven't had a summer adventure for the last couple of years. I miss the mountains, the ocean, or even just a simple swimming pool!
There's always no time, no budget, no nothing. That's the truth of the matter here.
Even the simple things I love doing, like blogging, writing poems, and writing short stories...even these I can't seem to afford to do. I just don't have any time or energy left in me to do these things because I'm tied and tired with my day job. "Day Job", actually is an inaccurate term because it doesn't end with the day. My job continues at night, till the wee hours of the morning and then all day long. Yes, the home-based job allows me some free time after deadlines. But the free time is mostly consumed with household chores and sleeping and recharging to prepare body and mind for another grueling days and sleepless nights of work.
I wouldn't mind if I love the job I'm doing. But the fact is, I don't. I don't even like it. But I wouldn't say I don't have a choice, because we always have a choice. It's just that for now, I don't have a better choice.
So I guess, till then... Until I have a better choice, I'll have to tend to my heart every now and then to keep it from reaching an alarming state of discontent.