Saturday, June 30, 2012

Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, Try Weakly... How important is sex (really)?

I found these funny quotes on Twitter about sex life based either on age or marriage.

  • The three stages of sex in marriage: tri-weekly; try-weekly; try-weakly.
  • The ages of man: at 20, tri-weekly, at 40, try weekly and at 60, try weakly
  • There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly. 
  • The 6 stages of sex after you're married: 1. Tri-weekly 2. Try weekly 3. Try weakly 4. Try Viagra 5. Try anything 6. Try remembering

We must admit, sex is a pretty hot topic among any and all group types. May it be among men, women, boys, girls, young or old, especially among those who are, let's say, not in the prime of life anymore.  Gone are the days when sex is totally taboo and virginity is the most precious gift a woman can give to her man. Nowadays, sex has become a necessary ingredient to keep a relationship healthy and working smoothly, whether among married couples or those of "right age" in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Or at least so it seems.   But I digress, morality of sex is not the topic of this post.

The quotes above try to make fun of almost, or nearing, a non-existent sex life of people who are getting older.  And these days, even people who are still at the prime of their lives, are already experiencing difficulties in sex.  The 20 - 40 - 60 age brackets do not necessarily apply anymore.  I know some men in their mid to late 20s who are not able to function well in bed.  For some, lack of time seems to be the problem.  Some people don't have time for some loving after work because there is really no "after work time" left except for a few hours of sleep. This busy schedule also eventually leads to stress that causes lack of libido for both men & women; and erectile dysfunction and low sperm count for men.  Some others, due to Latent Homosexuality, which is a hidden inclination or potential for interest in homosexual relationships.  But whatever the reason is, lack of sex hurts the partner and the relationship, one way or another. 

So why is sex vitally important?  More than just a biological need, sex is an emotional, psychological, and spiritual need.  It is an expression of love and affection. It is an affirmation that a person is wanted...needed by his/her partner.  And I think it's needless to say that it is important for every person to feel loved, wanted, and needed. Neither do I need to explain why, right? And I don't think there is a need to say how sad it is to feel un loved and unwanted.  It is so sad that it could lead to serious depression. Or the person may seek appreciation elsewhere.

Lack of sex is an indication that there is a problem, such as the reasons given earlier. Or worse, it can be that there is no love anymore. But whatever the cause is, physical or psychological, the person should discuss it with his/her partner.  Put aside pride and embarrassment. Things as important as this should be discussed during the early stages so the partner won't feel unloved or unwanted. To prevent it from leading to bigger problems later on. Be honest. Do not be ashamed. Remember, you are partners so you should solve issues and seek solutions or help, together.  You should understand and support each other. Otherwise, there is no point in being together.

And if the reason is that love has faded away, the more the other person has the right to know. If you no longer love him or her, at least give some respect to his/her feelings by telling the truth. It may be difficult and harsh, but it's better than hurting him/her continuously with an unconsummated love, constant doubts and fears, and loneliness. The best thing to do, in this case, is set each other free.


Ken Wooi said...

Nicely written. Oh well, it's everywhere nowadays. :)

Lady Olivine said...

Thanks, Ken.

Yup, it's everywhere :)