Dear Nian (A poem for a precious girl)

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Sometimes, it's difficult to prove that you love somebody because of the many constraints or hurdles in life.  Limitations set by time, by status, or by a person's capabilities. It is even harder when the involved person is a child. 

Children only knows black and white, they don't recognize a gray area. They only feel either love or neglect. It's difficult for them to understand certain circumstances that sometimes prevents us adults to show them our love.  But as they grow into adulthood, they ease into it. Sometimes they learn to understand and take it as it is. However, there are also times when they fail to see the love and focus only on the pain of unfulfilled longing for affection.

And what makes it more difficult for adults to make children understand is the communication gap. The gap is especially bigger when it comes to adolescents or teenagers because they have a tendency to clam up.  They shut their world and hide inside it. Never letting their true feelings be known for fear that they would not be understood. Worse, they also refuse to listen because they feel that everything we say is either redundant, or some sort of punishment for them. And that we say things out of spite and not out of love.

I have been a child, a teenager, once and I still remember how it was. The feeling that I know everything and I don't need to be told.  I still have that thinking sometimes, but I do admit now that we still need reminders no matter how old or mature we think we are.

Now, there's this precious girl whom I love. We have a not-so-usual relationship that may raise some people's eyebrows. We are friends, yes to some degree. I guess we're as close as an adult could normally get to with a teenager. I could have been her mother and God knows how much I want to. I believe she wants that, too. However, certain circumstances would not allow me and I can only show her my love in the little ways that my time and limited capabilities could afford.  I know she understands this but I'm not sure if she fully accepts it. Or if she had come to terms with and learn to live with this fact. I understand that she also has some personal issues that may be affecting how she feels about our friendship. So I wrote this poem for her,  to let her know that I'm here and she can count on me.

Dear Nian,

I may not be around as much

For us to spend time together and such

We may all the time be apart

But please know that you’re always in my heart

Much as I wanna hold

Or hug you when you’re cold

Much as I wanna be there

To offer comfort when you’re scared

You know that I sometimes can’t

But know that I would’ve bent

Over backwards and inside and out

If I did hear you shout

I can still be a shoulder

To lean on for things hard to bear

Such as foolish mistakes

Or awful heartbreaks

I can still extend a hand

To pull and help you stand

After a terrible fall

Help you overcome it all

I know I am not your mother

And that I can never replace her

But a very good friend, I can be

If, and only if, you will allow me

Written on 04 October 2013, 18:38

By: Lady Olivine